The Silent-What do you think of the story and title?
Allen Hush was an English barman who lived in Italy with an orphaned boy who was very much like a son to him; the boy was from the street and he was known for stealing money from shops.
Allen worked at a cafe-bistro in the towns and would always suggest the boy rather steal from the kitchen than from other shops when Allen’s boss is not there.
One night in the afternoon of Friday the 13th, the boy creeps into the kitchen for a snack, and finds something he wished he hadn’t seen; he sees a fat tall man in a chef outfit with another man underneath him with his face to a stove; his face starts to burn.
The boy screams in shock and the chef turns to face him, the chef screams in Italian ordering the man he punished to chase after. As the chase commences Allen comes back from his wife’s apartment which is situated in a flat directly opposite the bistro.
He tries his best to stop the man from killing his “son”; he comes to a dead end and see’s the man with a knife to his son’s neck; “Why do you do this?” asks Allen, the man responds why would you want save a boy you hardly know when you can let your real son do the job, kill a thief.
Allen is confused and says he never had a son, the only son he had was that orphan this man holds in his grip. Suddenly before attempting to stop this man from killing his so called son, a bullet hits him like a hornet’s sting in his shoulder,
He collapses to floor in pain screaming agony; he hears a clap of heels reaching nearer and nearer. He looks up and see’s a female figure and is knocked out.
Next thing he knows he’s in a warehouse, glum, dark and cold. He feels something oily upon his face and his body; and hears the words welcome to hell; the room burns around him and Allen Hush dies.
Luckily he is saved in time before death and is taken to a secret place; a mysterious woman named The Scientist tells him that if he wanted his old life back, he would need revenge!
And so the transformation of The Silent begins, his face covered, with a top hat, a waist coat, trench coat and Machete as his main weapon, including various knives which he carries in a black leather case similar to Jack The Ripper; he sets out for revenge when realises the people he hunts is in fact his own family with a hidden secret.
The title:
Its generic and won’t really put a mark on your reader’s head.
The story:
Too many plot twists I say. And deus ex machina made me laugh: c’mon, a scientist who tells him to fuel his revenge?
And why is he just using knives? Won’t guns make better? Is there any logical reason for this? Preference is not exactly believable.